SO much sadness....

Right now should be such a joyus time for me, but in the last 2 days my life has just kinda sucked. As most of you know I have a 15 year old orange tabby named Clarance. Thursday night I came home from Orientation to find him with his head cocked 90 degrees to the right. Thinking maybe he just slept on it funny or whatever I rubbed his neck and sat him on the floor and he immediatley fell over. Now, he never has been the most graceful cat in the world, but nothing like this. I immediatley called our vet & rushed him over there. They really didn't know what is going on, but basically we are all about 98% sure that he suffered a stroke at sometime during the hours of 10am - 4pm. Tom left for work, he was fine, I came home & he wasn't. So, at this point he is on prednezone for 5 days to see what happens. He seems happy & content, and I know the second he doesn't I have a hard decision I have to make. The first night (Thursday) was pretty rough for us. He didn't purr a bit, and was basically vegetative. He has things he likes, and things he doesn't. I could do all the things he hates, and he just laid there. Very upsetting. I figured I would lose him in the middle of the night, so I think I got up about 8 times to check on him. The next day he was a tad perkier, and I gave him his first dose of prednezone, and had to leave to go to work. Luckily Tom was home with him for awhile, and he basically just slept the whole day because it knocked him out. When I got home he actually was sitting up looking at me. It was still sideways, but it was at least an improvement. I laid down on the floor next to his cat bed & stroked his chin & he purred SO loud! I started bawling! It was such a good sign to have him purr. Then he started doing the happy cat paw thing on my arm, and flinched when I touched his whiskers, just like he hates!
So, for now he is doing all right, but I know this is probably the beginning of the end. Dr Harmon said that some cats have something happen like this, and will go years with their head tilted funny. Poor cat. He is eating, drinking, and using the litter box very well yet.
I think the stroke probably messed with his eyesite too. UGH, it just sucks. I love him so much, and I am so attached to him that I am just beyond sad. What a shitty thing to have to deal with. He is currently laying on the couch next to me purring his little heart out. It is the first time he has been up on the couch since I found him Thursday. He has not jumping or landing ability at this point, so he has to stay on the floor. He has a big fluffy cat bed that he loves, so that is a plus. I think the thing is probably more comfy than my own bed!! Hell, I might sleep in it tonight, and let him have the couch!!
Well, it's late & I have had enough for the day. I don't sleep because I wake up to check him all the time, so I have to get in what I can. What I wouldn't give for 8 hours of straight, recouprative sleep. Ugh. Oh well. Love to all... J&T.
OH, and P.S. I think we're down to like 25 days before the wedding! HOLY BUCKETS! I have a lot to do!